Casual dating has its own set of rules, and most of them aren't written down. This guide is about the things that seem obvious but aren't — the small things that make casual dating work for everyone involved, without anyone getting hurt or wound up.
Be Honest About What You Want
The single most important rule: say what you're looking for before you meet up. If you're after something casual, say so. If you're open to a relationship but not pushing for one, say that too. The number one cause of bad experiences in casual dating isn't the casual part — it's mismatched expectations. Nobody likes finding out the other person was on a completely different page.
On Kommons, you can set what you're looking for on your profile. Use it. It saves everyone time and avoids awkward conversations later.
Respect Boundaries
This should go without saying, but: no means no. Not "convince me," not "maybe later," not "ask again." No. If someone says they're not interested, you move on. If someone sets a boundary — about what they're comfortable with, where they want to meet, how far they want to go — you respect it. No negotiation, no sulking, no trying to change their mind.
This applies to messaging too. If someone stops replying, that's an answer. You don't need to send a follow-up asking why. Move on.
Don't Ghost (But Don't Over-Explain Either)
Ghosting — disappearing without a word — is common in casual dating, but it's a bit rubbish. If you've met up with someone and you're not interested, a quick message is enough: "Had a nice time, but didn't feel a connection. Good luck out there." You don't need to write an essay, but a quick message shows respect.
If you've only exchanged a few messages and it's not going anywhere, it's fine to just stop replying. The line is simple: if you've met in person, send a message. If you haven't, silence is acceptable.
Be Safe
Casual dating means meeting strangers. That's fine — most people are genuine — but you need to take basic precautions. Meet in public for the first time. Tell a mate where you're going. Don't go to someone's house on a first date. Our dating safety guide covers this in detail.
Don't Be Weird About It
There's still a weird stigma around casual dating in some circles, as if wanting something casual is less legit than wanting a relationship. It isn't. Both are fine. The only thing that matters is that everyone involved is on the same page.
If someone judges you for what you're looking for, that's their problem, not yours. Kommons is a judgement-free zone — you say what you want, and you find people who want the same thing.
Communication Is Key
Casual doesn't mean silent. If you're seeing someone regularly, check in: "Are we still on the same page?" "Is this still working for you?" These conversations feel awkward but take two minutes and save weeks of confusion.
If things change — one of you wants more, or less — say so. The earlier, the better. Don't let it drag on and get messy.
When It Ends, End It Cleanly
Casual arrangements end. That's the nature of them. When they do, a short message is enough: "Had fun, but I think it's run its course." No drama, no ghosting, no drawn-out fade-out. You both move on.
The Bottom Line
Casual dating works when it's built on honesty, respect, and clear communication. It doesn't need to be complicated — in fact, it's better when it isn't. Say what you want, treat people well, and be safe. The rest takes care of itself.
For more, read our first message tips and our city-by-city hookup scene guide to see what the casual dating scene is like across the UK.